The Fear of Losing You
by Laughing Nick the Killer
Summary: Neji decides to leave, but Hinata is not going to let him go. Will he walk away or will his cousin make him stay? Or, why not, will secret and hidden feelings come out? NejiXHinata, NejiHina, Hyuugacest


**My first Naruto ff! Hope you like it!**

**This is a NejiHina! **

**I know, I know that they're cousins... but I don't care! I find them too damn adorable! Haters gonna hate XP**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Neji Hyuuga and Hinata Hyuuga from Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto does**

* * *

_Why?_

He's walking away from me. I follow him. I know he hears my footsteps, but it doesn't stop him. He keeps walking, he didn't hear my voice: a light breeze, in a blizzard.

_Neji-nii san... why don't you want to listen to me?_

The cold snow freezes my bare feet. I always gave up... but not now. Not even a blizzard is going to keep me away from you!

_... why do you keep walking away? ... stop Neji-nii san... please..._

Finally he stops. He doesn't move.

"Neji-nii san... I-"

"What are you doing here?"

He says to me, as cold as those little crystals which fall from the sky and make the skin wet. His voice makes me shiver.

_He's so... cold... and a bit scary._

I try to reply.

"I... why are you walking away?"

_... does it even matter to you? Would you care if I disappear from your life forever?_

"... that's not important and you wouldn't mind. Go back inside, it's too cold here. You're going to get a really bad sorethroat or, worse, a fever."

I order to her. Well... I'd say that this is a little strange... me, a Branch Family member, is telling to Hinata, a Main Family member, what to do...-

What am I saying? Hinata has always been weak, even her sister Hanabi is stronger than her. It's a shame for her... the heir of the Hyuuga Main Family is so weak...

"What if I minded? And why are you telling me to go back inside if you never cared about me?"

_Hinata, Hinata..._

_I didn't remember you were this stubborn..._

"... go inside. I won't tell you once more."

I don't need to use the Byakugan to see you, with tears slowly forming in the corner of your eyes. Those beautiful, yet powerful, white eyes similar to mine... but yet so different.

You don't move, waiting for me... to hurt you. But I won't. I'm not the old Neji, the impulsive and stubborn one, not anymore. I almost killed you for a stupid whim of mine: it will pursue me for years... I'm sure of it. Now I'm changed, I'll never hurt you... I hope so.

_I got it..._

He walks away again. Just... why?

_What's so wrong in me?_

I try to make him stay. I want to know more.

"What I ever done to you...? Please, tell me. What do you fear so much?"

He finally stops. I can't feel more anxious... I just hope that he didn't get those words of mine as a challenge. He turns to me, staring coldly.

"You... are in love with _him_, aren't you?"

My heart skips a beat. He knew it?

_Naruto-kun..._

"Y-you... how do you know it?"

...

"Heck... even an idiot like Lee can see what's happening between him and you. You should give him up."

Wh-what?! I can't... Naruto. He made me know what is friendship... and more important what is _love_.

Tears are trying to escape from my eyes, but I won't let Neji-nii san see them.

"Don't act like this, Hinata-sama. That's for your own sake. You can care about him so much... he'll never consider you."

...

"What I mean is that you can't fall in love with a boy you barely know."

No... it isn't true... I'm sure Naruto-kun feels the same for me.

_I love him! And I'll show you that you're wrong!_

"You can if it's true love!"

_Why are you so stubborn?!_

"Hinata-sama, what do you know about 'true love'?!"

"Well, more than you do, nii san! You just know how to kill people you love for your selfishness!"

...

Those words hurt me like a sharp kunai aimed to my heart...

That's too much!

"'True love'? Do you really think you're in a fairy tale, Hinata? In which there's always a good ending? Naruto isn't a knight in shining armor searching for his princess. You're not that princess waiting for him. Hinata, life isn't a fairy tale, the ones you read in books. True love doesn't exist, Hinata! Look at the truth: you aren't a child anymore! You're a girl, you're 13 and you must act like that. This is a book you're writing... but why can't you understand that everyone has its own destiny? You can write the many chapters of you life... just know the ending of that book in which you live called 'life' has been already written: you will end up alone and if you'll try to come to me... I won't be there. Remember those words."

_... Neji-nii san..._

He never spat out such words. Yes, he hurt me really often... but not like this...

_Why? What I ever done to you? ... please... tell me... why do you hate me so much?_

Where did the courage I showed when I defended Naruto-kun go? I don't know... it's gone. So, like in a blow, that blaze of courage died.

Nii san... why are you insisting so much on this 'destiny'? I don't want to end up alone... I don't want you to walk away...

My father hates me, Hanabi does, the entire clan too... why even you?

I may not be brave or strong or smart, but somewhere in my heart I know I can show you that I can be strong too. By my way...

_Only for this time, listen to your heart... and not to your pride._

...

This is one of those rare times I called Hinata by her own name, but for a good reason.

Why doesn't she give Naruto up? He doesn't even consider her... maybe as an ally, maybe even as a friend... but no more than this.

_Believe me Hinata... I tried to say that with gentleness, but I had no choice._

Why can't you understand?!

_Why are you so ostinated, Hinata?! Why does him matter this much to you? Hinata, why can't you get that I'm doing this for your own good? I don't want to see you suffering._

_He doesn't deserve you... you're too pure and perfect for him. _

_You don't deserve him... because he's too stupid to see how much you suffered and cared for him._

I see her on the verge of breaking down. A part of me is telling me to wipe away her tears and protect her in my arms, like I always did. But the other one is telling me to walk away, letting those tears consume her soul.

_Hinata, why don't you get I want to save you? Save you from those childish dreams that will become puzzling and truthful reality when you will grow up? I'm giving you one last chance... but this is your life. So act as you think it's right. Go, you're mistress of your own life. I'll go too._

... just try to understand it...

_You can decide to live your love story with your foxy hero... or to see the truth, so letting that idiot go..._

You look behind your shoulders.

... as I thought...

_I knew it..._

What must I do...? Follow Neji or Naruto? ... I'm so confused.

He whispers a feeble _"I knew it..."_, with a sad frown painted on his lips and walks away.

N-Neji... what can I do?

_I love Naruto but... I love you too..._

You're already too far and you don't even deign to look back... to look me in the eyes.

...

...

...

Neji...

Naruto...

...

... Neji...

"Neji! Stop!"

I run desperate toward you, with the fear of losing you pursuing my heart...

The bitter cold caresses my face in its frosty hands, but it won't stop me. You seem to be so far...

You mustn't lose me...

I don't want to lose you... never...

"NEJI!"

...!

I can't believe it...

It can't be... I know you... you wouldn't do that...

And yet, here you are... your arms embracing my chest from behind, your head leant on my back, your tears wetting my sweatshirt, your hands on my heart...

_H-Hinata... have you really...-_

...

I don't know what to say...

Even if I can easily rid from such grip, her fragile crystal trap is strong enough to stop me...

"N-Neji-nii san, please, listen to me! Yes, I'm in love with Naruto, but tell me... who did protect me? Who did care about me? Who did teach me how to be strong and to believe in myself? Who was my shoulder to cry on? ... you, Neji! You were always here! Whenever I felt sad or alone, you were there... waiting for me, crying on your shoulder and letting you holding me thight like you, and only you, can and could..."

Yes, Neji... I still remember everything.

You're here with me, I'm holding on you... and yet I feel you so distant... who knows, could be the void caused by the fear of losing you?

_I have to tell you, ok? ... I'm afraid. Yes, I fear to lose you. Why can't I be like you, who isn't afraid by anything?_

_Hinata, believe me or not, but I was often afraid... but not by losing a fight or by lying... I feared to lose you..._

I feel like you could escape anytime you want. Don't be forced by me... as weak as I am. But I won't let you go... I'm selfish, a stupid.

_Why do I have to be such a fool? Why I have to be such a nothing? A stupid, a stupid love sick? Then Naruto, now you... why do I have to dream what I can't reach? Why can't I be as cute as Sakura? As beautiful as Ino? As cool as Temari? Or as strong as Tenten? ... and me? I'm the foolish and naive Hinata... the one who'll never have her own love story._

We were both young when I first saw you. I also remember you said "I was cute"... do you still think that? Anytime I felt sad you were there.

_Neji we loved each other so much..._

You were there for me and I was ther for you. I firstly learned to love you as a cousin, then as a brother, as a master, as a friend and maybe as something more... but I never realized it.

_... we can do it again._

"Neji, do you remember our childhood? I still remember those old times when you were happy and... smiled... you know what, nii san? Sometimes I would like to look back and return to those beautiful days when we were still children... and you loved me."

Million pictures of me and Neji are appearing and disappearing in my mind... and tears start wetting my face, again.

"Why? Why can't we return to those children times? That horrible mark has subtracted you your beautiful smile, the one which always made me happy... I want to see one of those smiles of yours again, even for a second. Neji you believe destiny can't change, but I... I don't... destiny can change. I'll change my own destiny. True love exist and I can demonstrate this... If I only had a chance..."

Salty tears start streaming on my pale cheeks, they roll long the line of my cheekbones and fall on your beige sweatshirt. I hold you thight with my last strenght.

_Neji-nii san... I think... I think I l-_

...

...

...

Hinata-sama...

I heard every single word...

I feel you loosing your grip and slowly falling. I turn to you and I lift you in my arms.

_She's probably passed out because of the cold._

Before I could go back inside I look at her... damn, how couldn't I see how much she was that beautiful?

_You're beautiful Hinata..._

...

... uh? W-where am I?

I slowly open my eyes and I stare at what I really can't believe: me, in Neji's arms, who gently strokes my short dark hair and gives me a melancholic smile.

His touch give me a cold warmth, like only he can. Only Neji can make me feel an emotion like this...

I feel his hair tickling my face... it's a beautiful feeling... I think I love it.

He stares at me with severity. I think he's a bit angry...

"You're a stupid, you know? Do you know that if I wasn't there you could die from hypotermia? You should have listened to me... you're a fool Hinata."

He tell me with a strict tone, but it sounds also worried...

"... but I should say that you surprised me this time. Even if I gave you the chance to free yourself from the chains that enchain you to me, you didn't leave me. I knew you cared about me... but even letting Naruto go... I can't believe it... you were right. True love does exist and you showed me... I know I'm not perfect and I'll never admit it but... I love you, Hinata. More than you can think."

...

_Neji... sorry if I didn't understand it before... will you ever forgive me?_

I see him sigh and hint a rare smile. I remember long time ago that when I was a little girl, my tiny heart beated wildly and I blushed really heavily when he smiled... maybe I'm still that little girl.

"Oh, and I don't think you're cute, at all... I think you're beautiful..."

I bury my head in his chest and I enjoy his caresses, for all the night.

_I think... I love you too, Neji... more than you can think._

* * *

**The End!**

**I know it wasn't really good, but I tried... I swear! :(**

**Sorry if there are various mistakes, but I'm not english. So I don't speak it really well...**

**Hope you liked it ;)**


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